I used to think that you can. Now i realised you can’t.
After all we are all humans. Malleable things that are constantly shaped by experiences and we act differently in different situations. It doesn’t mean that you are a fake person or wearing masks or whatever. It doesn’t mean anything if a person’s behavior is inconsistent in different situations because we react differently to different environments and the people around us. I couldn’t understand this till today actually. For a moment i thought that the people around me were wearing masks. It was really difficult for me to understand. I couldn’t understand how can a person be so different when placed in different social situations. How you can be a loud at school then really quiet in a group. Or how you can be really aloof in a big group and become a really chatty and outgoing person in a one to one situation. Are you treating me a certain way because you want something from me or are you being normal? What is normal? Then i realised that i’m also like that in a way. An entire different entity in school, at home, at work and the different social circles. I guess that makes us what we are, multi faceted creatures. Different situations brings out a different side of a person. It doesn’t mean that the people are less genuine or honest. Perhaps there may be a hidden agenda. but don’t we all have hidden agendas in what we do? Even in the most simplest of friendship. Isn’t friendship an agenda by itself? Then what is true altruism? Does it even exist?
I guess it really depends on how you want to view things. When the glass is half full, everything will look much better. When you trust in people, people will trust in you too. Maybe it will take some time, sometimes even years. Sometimes the person may not be what they are even if you have known them for 10-20 years. And thats a really scary thought.
So lets return to the main question for today. How do you define a person?Hack. how do you even define yourself ? Don’t you know yourself the best? I used to think that i know myself really well. But NO. This is not the case. I find myself really inconsistent with my choices and actions. You can’t treat everyone the same even though you can try your best. I find myself being swayed and not making decisions the way i used to. I find myself being affected in ways i have never felt before. I can have all the logical answers in my head but still deny what is obviously true. The heart just wants to win even though the head is darn sure about what is going to happen. No matter how much i try not to dwell and to think about the right way of doing things, i am still a girl. Women are emotional creatures. And no matter how much i hate to admit it, i am a person and i have feelings and moods. I get happy, upset, angry at things that i try to rationalise. But at the end of the day, you really don’t need a reason to why you feel the way you do. You just do and it’s ok. It’s ok to feel things, you are human and you have feelings because you are alive. There is no shame in being inconsistent. There is no shame in deviating from people’s impression of you and your behavior. After all ‘your brand’ of yourself is only brand. You are your own person and you decide your own life. So what if your friends think you are an over achiever, or a class clown etc. We tend to conform into molds that we think is expected of us. Like ’ Xue Yi is a very positive girl’ , The truth is that i try my best because that is how i want to lead my life. It doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t mean that im always positive. It doesn’t mean that i don’t get upset because i do. I just don’t show it.
Then is there is really no need to label yourself ? I admit that defining yourself does help you know your grounds and the reasons to your actions. But it does limits you because of the way you view yourself. Telling yourself that you are certain kind of person also means you are stopping yourself from being something more or something less. You are putting yourself in a cage. I tend to do that then i realised that there is really no point.
Just be yourself.
I’m beginning to think that that maybe the one of the best advice that i have ever received. I always thought being yourself means being that person that people see you as. Now i’m beginning to realise that being yourself means not letting anything define you. Not even yourself. You do what you do.
With spirit with mind and most importantly with heart.
You cannot put yourself on a pedestal but you cannot push yourself into the drain. I think we are all created equal in someways. A life is a life. Why should we measure it? We are born in different situations, everyone has their own stories. Why should we judge the value of another person’s life? Why should we judge another person’s choice? Even though it may implicate you, it may even disappoint you or hurt you. It’s still the person’s own choice at the end of the day though. You take what you get and appreciate what you have.
Personally i think that this is where values and god comes into play, without them there will be nothing to guide you. Let your actions speak for itself, just lead your life the way you want and be happy.
You are everything you are and everything you are not.
Just be yourself why won’t you.